Spiralling
2009-11-19

This has been one of the worst weeks ever with Stephanie. In fact, she is suspended from school for tomorrow. We know that she is having issues, and they do seem to be worse than usual. Well, no "seem" about it. They ARE worse than usual. However, I'm still not sure that the school people get it! Or maybe it's us that don't get it. Honestly, I'm so down right now...

So I'll head to God's Word and find some comfort there.

I might change things a little bit. Been in a rut. We'll see how this goes today.



I'll still start with a Psalm reading. Today's Psalm is 119:49-53.

I can identify with the Psalmist today. He speaks of, in a sense, hanging on to the words of the Lord for dear life. That's how I feel right now. He speaks of God's Word holding him up during tought times. That's what I have to do right now, and for the past few days, I have been negligent in doing that.

John Calvin really has some good words to say about this passage:

The Psalmist prays that God would really perform what he promised; for the even proves that he does not forget his word.

At the same time he informs us, that during his troubles and anxieties, he did not search after vain consolation as the world is wont to do, who look around them in all quarters to find something to mitigate their miseries; and if any allurements tickle their fancy, they make use of these as a remedy for alleviating their sorrows. On the contrary, the prophet says he was satisfied with the word of God itself; and that when all other refuges failed him, there he found life full and perfect; nevertheless, he covertly confesses, that if he does not acquire courage from the word of God, he will become a dead man.

Hence, if we meditate carefully on his word, we shall live even in the midst of death, nor will we meet with any sorrow so heavy for which it will not furnish us with a remedy. And if we are bereft of consolation and succour in our adversities, the blame must rest with ourselves; because, despising or overlooking the word of God, we purposely deceive ourselves with vain consolation.

I feel, right now, as if I am in "the midst of death," and that I have not sufficiently meditated on his word.

I will fight this. I will not give up.



From the Presidential Prayer team site today:

Pray for the safety of our soldiers who are facing increasing violence and attacks in Afghanistan. Pray for comfort and courage for their families while they are deployed.



Father, I surrender myself to your loving arms this afternoon. Once again, I am drawn to Dennis Jernigan's song, "If I Could Just Sit With You A While." I want to crawl up into your lap right now, and just sit there in your embrace.

"Hold me, Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf;
You have been King of my glory, won't you be my Prince of Peace."~~Rich Mullins



Grace and peace friends.


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