Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of men!
For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. Verses 8-9
Acts 26:12-18
This is yet another description of Paul's conversion experience on the road to Damascsu, this time as he relates it in person to King Agrippa.
It's interesting to note how the usage of the personal pronouns changes during the story. At first, it's all about my journey to Damascus, papers authorizing my actions.
Then, quite suddenly, it is Jesus talking. I (Jesus) have chosen you (Paul). I'm sending you. I have a job for you.
The passage also focuses on the past and the future. At the beginning, Paul describes what his mission was. In the middle, the focus shifts. Suddenly, he is describing what his new mission is, as given him by Jesus.
Paul's new mission:
...to open the eyes of the outsiders so they can see the difference between dark and light, and choose light, see the difference between Satan and God, and choose God. I'm sending you off to present my offer of sins forgiven, and a place in the family, inviting them into the company of those who begin real living by believing in me.
Notice, Jesus didn't just say, "What you believe is wrong, change it." He really didn't even address Paul's doctrine at all. When Jesus dramatically changes your life, he doesn't have to talk to you about your doctrine. He basically fixes that, himself, without even addressing it.
Another thing to notice is kind of radical. Jesus gave a mission to a murderer. Yes, "Saul" was a murderer. But you notice that Jesus also changed his name? "Saul" no longer exists. The new man is "Paul." I think that the name change here is very relevant to our understanding of the "old man/new man" dichotomy. "Saul" was crucified with Christ. "Paul" came to life in the resurrection of Christ. So, in a sense, Jesus didn't really give the mission to the murderer. Jesus did away with the murderer and gave the mission to the new man.
It is difficult to know what Paul might have prayed next. He is completely blind. He is completely at the mercy of his "minions." He must be led to safety by others. I know I would be praying for mercy.
You respond to me..."I am the Son of God. You have not listened to me as well as you should have. You follow me half-heartedly. Yet I continue to love you and draw you closer to me. I am drawing you closer, even now, to a more whole-hearted relationship with me. I still have a job for you. You will teach my sheep about worship. You will lead them into my presence each week. But you will also draw them into community, as you teach them how to use their talents to worship me."
I'm afraid, Jesus. I know you have this job for me. I don't know how to do it. You (and possibly some other believers) are going to have to show me.
Is there anything about you that I'm missing? Anything that I still don't understand or have failed to accept?
Please show me, Jesus.