Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you."--Psalm 16:1-2
read
Ezra 9:10-15
This is a prayer of Ezra, spoken on behalf of the exiled Israelites.
think
I'm asked to think about how I relate to this prayer.
I've felt similarly to the feelings that are expressed by Ezra here. I have gone through periods of time where I have gone against what I know to be God's truths for me.
Wow. This isn't a good time for me to be thinking these things because I'm already a little depressed tonight. But I can't help but wonder what my life would be like today if I had followed Jesus all the way through. I know that that also goes against what was said in a previous entry about not using these things to beat myself up. And I won't do that. Hopefully.
I like one line in the book. "...a general sense of not getting it right, ever." Yeah. That's me. It seems like I can't ever get it right.
What have I done with that feeling? Have I just shoved it aside? Have I allowed it to constantly criticize everything I do? Have I thought of sharing it with God?
All of the above, at one time or another. But not enough of the last one. Not enought sharing with God. Oh, I've said "Lord, I just can't get it right." Or something similar. But that's about as far as it gets. Then I'm off to something else.
pray
Ezra obviously feels very secure in God's mercy. Nevertheless, being this defenseless is difficult.
Words and phrases that resonate with me: "...we have thrown your commands to the wind." "You punished us far less than we deserve." "Yet, here we are, at it again."
I will be mulling over this prayer on my drive to work tonight. I frequently turn down the radio on the trip in and use that time for reflection and prayer. When I can keep my mind on it for more than 30 seconds!
live
"When you mess up today, remember Ezra, and remember God's merciful love."
Grace and peace.