Because of His Repentance
2008-01-05

I actually started this earlier today. Computer...well actually the entire house power...went off for a nano-second, so I lost what I had written. I'll try to reconstruct, then finish.

Psalms for today: 5, 35, 65, 95, 125.

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
let them ever sing for joy,
and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name
may exult in you.--Psalm 5:11



Day 44

read

1 Kings 21:20-29

Ahab is confronted by Elijah, and, faced with the total anihilation of himself and all of his descendants, repents.

Well, wouldn't you??

Seriously, though, his penance seemed to be sincere, and God noticed. So God puts off his punishment until after he dies.

think

I try to imagine myself as Elijah as I read. Ahab calls Elijah his enemy. Elijah does not deny this. Ahab was one of the most wicked kings of Israel's history, but mostly because he was a huge wimp who was totally controlled by the most wicked woman that perhaps the world has ever known. Elijah probably got quite a bit of pleasure delivering the words of punishment to Ahab. I dare say, had I been Elijah, I probably would have been somewhat disappointed when he repented. Kind of like Jonah when the Ninevites actually listened to his warnings.

pray

There are some interesting questions in this section.
1. What does God's anger toward this enemy make you feel? It makes me feel anger toward this enemy as well. God's enemy is most certainly mine.
2. Do you feel the same anger God does over the injustice? Absolutely.
3. When you picture the three of you there--Ahab, God, you--what position is your body inclined to take toward each of them? Talk to God about your response. I see myself standing with feet firmly planted about shoulder-width, left foot slightly in front of the right, with my finger pointed at Agab. I speak the words with great ferocity (is that a word??), because I know that with God directing me, I have nothing to fear. My posture toward God would be more of a receptive position, hands raised as though waiting for something.
Now I return to the reading, and hear God describing Ahab's repentance to me.
1. What does this make you feel? I know I should rejoice because one of God's fiercest enemies has repented. Ultimately, I will rejoice, but I also face the disappointment of not seeing him pay for all the horrible things he has done.
2. Where do your thoughts go? Immediately, I begin to search inward, to find a way to repent of my own hardness of heart toward Ahab. I want to see justice! But God's justice is not like man's, not at all. God shows mercy, therefore, so must I.
As I share these thoughts with God, I think about how I feel about justice today. Sometimes my sense of justice gets skewed. God has shown me much mercy. He will continue to show mercy where it is due, and only he knows the heart. I cannot know a person's heart, except by seeing their actions. But those actions do not always reveal the trueness of the heart. I have to trust that God knows what is best and just. Only he knows.

live

Here is a prayer from the Book of Common Prayer from 1979.

The Lord is full of compassion and mercy: O come let us adore him.

And here is the instruction of what to do after meditating on this prayer.
Notice what your response is. If there is something you need to repent of today, go to God and receive his mercy. If you want to adore him for his compassion, spend time doing so. If you don't want to adore God, take time to open yourself to the reality that he is praiseworthy. Don't force yourself to feel things you don't feel or to say things you don't mean, but do consider the reality acknowledged in the prayer.

I have no problem adoring God for his compassion. Sometimes I have a problem repenting. Oh, I'm frequently sorry for my sins, but "repentance" is more than just sorrow. Repentance involves change. Am I willing to turn and go the opposite direction from my sins? That's the key.

I adore you, Father, for your compassion and mercy. I adore you because you have been merciful, so very merciful to me. I'm a sinner. Through and through. A sinner, "saved by grace." By grace and grace alone. I am forgiven because of the blood of Christ spilt to pay for my sins. May others see that and respond in the same way.

Grace and peace, y'all



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