So, today being December 3, I started with Psalm 3, then read 33, 63, etc. Probably my very favorite Psalm (it's close with 91, as well)(and 139) is Psalm 63. I feel strongly that it has to be inspirition for Beaker's lyrics that he wrote for Rich Mullins in "Step By Step." It goes thusly...
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirst for you, my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will song for joy.
My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Read
2 Samuel 1:17-27 (this is actually the extended passage...only verses 24-27 are in the book)
This is David's lament at the death of Saul and Jonathan. I'm quoting it in full here.
Oh, oh, Gazelles of Israel, struck down on your hills, the mighty warriors--fallen, fallen!Quoted from The Message
Don't announce it in the city of Gath, don't post the news in the streets of Ashkelon.
Don't give those coarse Phlistine girls one more excuse for a drunken party!
No more dew or rain for you, hills of Gilboa, and not a drop from springs and wells,
For there the warriors' shields were dragged throught the mud, Saul's shield left there to rot.Jonathan's bow was bold--the bigger they were the harder they fell.
Saul's sword was fearless--once out of the scabbard, nothing could stop it.Saul and Jonathan--beloved, beautiful! Together in life, together in death.
Swifter than plummeting eagles, stronger than proud lions.Women of Israel, weep for Saul.
He dressed you in finest cottons and silks, spared no expense in making you elegant.
The mighty warriors--fallen, fallen in the middle of the fight! Jonathan--struck down on your hills!O my dear brother Jonathan, I'm crushed by your death.
Your friendship was a miracle-wonder, love far exceeding anything I've known--or ever hope to know.The mighty warriors--fallen, fallen. And the arms of war broken to bits.
I'm almost crying after reading that. And to think...Saul was David's sworn enemy for a while.
Think
Pain and suffering are normal in our lives. But how do we react to them? David's reaction was to be open and honest. Being a songwriter made that easier, I think. It's alwasy easier to express yourself if you have an outlet like song or poetry. For an outstanding example of this...see a diary written by onlygrace. This most recent entry is a most beautiful poem of emotional release. I was astounded. Inspired and touched, as well.
This is how David reacted. How do I respond to heartbreak? Depends. At times in my life, I have responded just like David. I wrote a song. At other times, I went extremely in the wrong way. I remember a dark time in my life...well, you don't need to know the details. Just know it was very, very dark.
Do I think David's response is healthy? Absolutely! He's a poet! What better way to express his anguish than to write a song. It even says right before it begins that it had to be taught in Judah. He wanted to honor God's anointed! What thoughts and feelings go through me as David honors the "evil" king in death? He doesn't seem so "evil" as David honors him. I think David was honorable beyond reproach in his dealings with Saul, all his life. And this was no different. Saul was God's anointed, good or bad. David insisted on honoring him in his death, as well. It's a very admirable trait, and remember, David is referred to as "a man after God's own heart."
Pray
I'm invited to spend time expressing the pain heartbreaks in a lament to God and receive his comforting. My lament would be one of the pain and heartbreak of having a daughter that is "challenged" by a diagnosis of "high-functioning autism." Would that she could be "normal." Oh, that she could handle simple things in life. I fear that she will never be able to live a life on her own, and we struggle with how to teach her the things that she will need to do so. Yet, I feel God's comfort as he ensures me that he is with her, every step of the way. I don't have to understand why she is the way she is. I just have to know that God is good. All the time.
Live
Live knowing that God is loving enough to listen to you and big enough to care for you in your pain.